One Impulsive Decision

Saturday afternoon I had an errand to run. A small thing I wanted to do to indulge my vanity (because I probably don't do that enough, ha ha).

As I headed out the door, it suddenly occurred to me, "I could ride my bike. The weather is beautiful - it's like a spring freakshow out there it's so nice! And after I do my errand I could ride my bike some more!"

My ride with Raegan the previous weekend inspired me to reconsider my transportation options.  I shouted "WICK-WICK!!" and 11.5 miles later, I couldn't have been happier about it. 

Man, I tell you what, I can NOT wait for spring to arrive! 

But for now, here's a pic of roughly what it looks like in our front yard today:

Pic is from last week, but it's snowing again today.  Coty catching a snowball!

Live it. Run it. A Manifesto of Sorts?

I am applying for the 261 Fearless Ambassador program.

One of the questions is this:

If you could give advice to other women who are trying to incorporate running into their life, what advice do you want to share with them? 

This question sparked some passion in me that I could barely control.  I had to edit it down to the space allotted for responses.  So I thought I'd share it.

Here is my answer:

When I started running, I did everything I could to do it in private.  I didn't want anyone to see me trying to run, trying to teach myself how to run.  I had led a very sedentary life and in my late 20s I was trying to completely change how I viewed myself, the type of activities I spent my time on, and what I wanted to do with my life outside of work.  

I was afraid other runners would ridicule me, I was afraid that drivers on the street would honk and make fun of me, yell things from their car windows and embarrass me.  I was fat and I felt old and clumsy and I was terrified of being seen in public trying to change that.  

Eventually I gained the confidence to join a group of beginner runners.  Essentially it was a Couch to 5k-type of program and it COMPLETELY CHANGED MY WORLD.  My outlook on this activity was radically changed by the time I'd finished the 10-week program.  

I learned that the running community is not a group of high school jocks who are going to make fun of me for being slower or for struggling.  It’s a group of SUPPORTERS who have my back!  

The “intimidation” and "fear" I experienced was really more about fear within myself.  Fear of failing, fear of succeeding, or maybe just fear of trying something new.  

Don’t let THAT stop you!  

NEVER LET FEAR STOP YOU FROM DOING WHAT YOU WANT!  

Go out in the street!  

Run and walk on the trails locally! 

If you really need an excuse or to take attention from yourself, 

GET A RUNNING PARTNER - GET A DOG!  ANYTHING.  

Just don't ever let fear control your actions.  

It's YOUR life.  

Live it.  

Run it.

Actually, now that I've written that last bit, I like it so much I think I'll make it my new tag line.  Because this blog isn't really about faster times and weight loss these days; it's about how I'm living my life, and the ways I'm changing how I live my life.  I like it!

Smoothie Adventures, Horned Melon

Here's what today's breakfast looked like as it was being assembled:

Horned melon:  SCARY FRUIT! It looks obscene and rather frightening when you slice into it.  Here's a close-up:

I was also very concerned when I saw all of the seeds.  And even more so when the smell hit me.  If you LOVE cucumber, you'd love the smell of this fruit.  Me, I hate cucumber.  I'm using the word "Hate" here.  I REALLY don't like the stuff.  The smell makes me a little nauseous, the texture makes me feel like vomiting.  And the taste... I do not find it pleasing.  (I love pickles and zucchini though...)

This thing smells strongly of cucumber.  I gamely pressed on, though (and decided if I just couldn't ingest the end result, I'd hit a drive-thru on my way out of town).  (Yes, I had a backup plan, and it was a drive-thru.)

At this point, I'm fairly certain this is going to be an unmitigated disaster, so I Googled a "real" recipe for a Horned Melon Smoothie (really this is so I have someone to blame when this is inedible and I put it down the garbage disposal).  Google says those seeds are edible, so I squeezed one half of the melon until all the jelly-like stuff and most of the seeds had come out.  

Every recipe I found had basically the same ingredients:  pineapple (there's a little in the mixed fruit bag we have on hand... oh crap I'm out), blueberries (check), and mango (check).  So I throw in half a frozen banana, half a mango, a couple handfuls of my frozen blueberries, and a crapload of frozen grapes in various colors, laid the cup on its side in the freezer (so the liquidy melon stuff wouldn't just be stuck by morning), crossed my fingers and went to bed.

This morning I added protein powder and as much water as it took to fill the cup to the "max fill" line, took a deep breath, and hit "Blend."

This.  Was.  Edible.

I liked it.  It was not actually all that different in taste from the other recipes I've been making. 

Though, with the skin from all those grapes and blueberries, and of course those seeds (which were broken up pretty well, but could maybe have gone another 20 seconds in the blender), the texture was kind of gritty.  After a while I learned to just swallow and stop trying to chew that stuff.

And it was so filling (think of all those seeds...) I was only able to drink about half.

I did NOT leave a sample for The Hubs.  He wanted nothing to do with this mess!

I'm a little curious how all those seeds (think "extra fiber") are going to affect my digestive system.  But it's 2pm and I'm alright so far, for what that's worth. (Too much?)

All in all, I say it was a successful experiment.  I'm still up for trying new things.

What about you?  Have you tried something new recently?  What is an unmitigated disaster, or were you pleasantly surprised?

Looking Ahead

It's been a couple of weeks since my last post and they have been hectic and stressful, but I keep thinking of that depressing day and what I wrote and I can't leave that up here as my last post any longer!

There are quite a few deadlines coming up at work and I've been putting in a lot of hours trying to make sure we meet them and keep my clients happy.  Been out of town quite a bit and when I AM home, working with our new dog is still very challenging and time-consuming.  He's learning, but it takes TIME.  Lots of it.  Which is to say, my exercise routine is still pretty much on hold.  I'm hoping the next few weeks will see a reduction in the work stress and less traveling, which will allow more time for working out.

I have a 5k this Sunday!  EEK!  I haven't run since Run the Woods (8K trail race), which, although I haven't posted a Race Recap, I can tell you it was very challenging!  I remember about half-way through thinking, "wow, I really should have just signed up for the 5k.  This is harder than I expected!"  I did finish though.  DFL, and happy to get to the finish line.  I am LOVING my new age group, though.  I got second place!  HA!  20 minutes behind the first-place winner but I still placed! They give out really cool plaques too, rather than ribbons or trophies.  Neat stuff.

But that was a MONTH ago!  So yes, EEK! is the name of the game for this weekend.  I guess this demonstrates a circumstance in which my strategy works.  Rain or shine, ready or not, I'll be running 3.1 miles this weekend, because darn it, I PAID to do it!

One more thing before I rush back into work for today:  a few weeks ago, I did something I have often sworn NEVER to do.  I bought a "self-help" book.  Now (i know my mom reads this, so ... um... sorry mom) it seemed to me that my mother bought and read followed the plans of many a self-help book throughout my childhood, and I developed a real aversion to the things.  But I picked up the book that was recommended by another blogger whom I really respect (check out her Facebook page!) (and discussed periodically while she was reading it... I really got a feel for how this might be helpful to someone who thinks the way that I do...).

amazon.com

The book, of course, is intended to be read daily, with a six-week plan, and daily "homework" assignments... yadda-yadda-yadda... I am reading it as I have time, and implementing each "day"'s plan as I go.  I recognize that I don't have the ability to follow a strict schedule with this thing right now, and I'm working within my limits.

The book is "The Beck Diet Solution" by Dr. Judith Beck and is based in Cognitive Behavior Therapy.  I'm currently working on Day 5.  The first step was to create a list of all of the reasons I want to lose weight and get healthy.  And read them, twice daily.  Before I head back to work, I thought now would be a good time for me to read those (especially after a Food Fail this morning), and I'll share a few of them with you:

• My husband will be proud of me, and I of myself.
• I will feel like I've accomplished something important.
• I will feel better and have more energy.
• I will be less self-critical, and happier when I look in the mirror.
• I will feel more in control.
• I will be a better, faster runner.
• I will feel ready to take on The Marathon.
• I want to look fabulous at my son's wedding!
• I will live long enough to play with my son's children and the children of my niece and nephews.
• I could learn to swim and do a triathlon.

Last word, one I've written down to read when I need help staying on track (or getting back on track) whenever I need it:

I am strong and in control.

I can manage what I eat to provide nutritious fuel for my body without overeating.

I will control what and how much I eat so that I feel satisfied and still lose weight.

So far, these are the good things I've gotten out of reading this book.  I hope there are more to come as I keep reading.

SFB is now on Facebook!

Last night I decided I'd like to turn my personal Facebook page, well, back into a Personal Facebook page!

To that end, I set up a Stronger, Faster, Better Facebook page!  This is where I'll post links to great articles that I read, funny / insightful / inspirational pictures, messages, memes, etc... and notify whenever I post a new entry here on the blog.

Feel free to "Like" my Facebook page here:  Stronger, Faster, Better

Hope this Friday is indeed a Good Friday for you and yours... I'm going to a concert tonight with friends (to see a band I've ALWAYS wanted to see perform!!!) so I'm expecting GREAT things for this Good Friday.

Happy Easter... see you on the flip-side!

How did you learn you love running?

Lately I find myself in a constant state of amazement at what my body is capable of. 

When I first started running, after every 5k race I participated in, even if I did a significant amount of walking in order to finish, I was barely able to walk the next day, let alone go out and get some more exercise.  Now, I think of 5k's like "another training run" - one I will really push myself on.  I can even go for another 3-mile run/walk the afternoon of a race, without experiencing any muscle soreness the next day.  The day after a race, I'm ready for another run, (preferably this time with my dog).

I'm reminded of this today because my Wednesday night Ride the Wave group had our first "Hill Workout" last night.  (I did take the dog - she was ecstatic - it was her second walk of the day!)  I was expecting we would pick a big hill and then run up and down it a bunch of times, but I was mistaken.  We ran as a group, 4 1/2 miles in a figure-eight loop on the streets of a hilly neighborhood.  It wasn't as grueling as what I expected, but it was certainly a really tough workout.  We earned it last night.  (What did we earn?  Well, I guess that's up to each of us.)  And this morning, I marvel at how my legs aren't even sore. 

I was talking with someone during the run last night (and last week too, I think... hmmm, I must talk about this a lot.) about how slow my weight loss has been over the past 18 months.  Running helps me stay focused and committed despite the slow progress.  I focus on the running because that's where I can always see improvement. It's not always on the scale. It's not always on my ass or in the way my clothes fit. But it's right there on the clock.  If I work hard and stay consistent, it'll be there every damn week.

Shoot I think I just found myself a motto. Or at least an answer to that age-old question:

"Why do you run?"

Visit Life in the Day of a Runner and "Like" their page!

Two Great Workouts

I have two workout rundowns for you today - both a bit overdue.

Last week's group run was a Speed Workout - an entirely new experience!  First, a weather report, because it's Illinois, so the weather is ALWAYS a factor.  Yeah, it was FREEZING, and WINDY!  Temps were in the 20s, I'm not sure the exact number, but it was freakin' miserable out there!  But sunny... it was the first workout after the time change, so that was a big plus.

We met at a local high school track, and once we finished bitching about the cold, we got started just a quickly as possible.  Here's the plan we followed:

• 1-mile easy jog to warm up
• 400m (once around the track) FAST, 400m recovery jog - do this 4 times
• 200m recovery walk/ jog
• 200m FASTER (you're only going half-way around the track, MOVE IT!), 200m recovery jog (try really hard not to walk now... but that's tough)
• Cool down walk / slight jog, 800m.

It was really great - I think if not for the cold I might have actually enjoyed it!  Total mileage was about 4 miles, and we were at it for about an hour.  Hard to tell about the time; I think I stopped and forgot to restart my Garmin during one of the intervals.  The best part is that it was a true "group run".  Normally, we in the "Relaxed Runners" group have such disparate paces that we spread out quite a bit during our weekly runs, end up running in even smaller groups - sets of 2 or 3, or on my own - which is fine, I still get the motivation and accountability of being with the group, and I enjoy running on my own as much as anything, but with this set schedule, we stuck in a tighter unit.  I got to know several of the other women a bit better.  It's funny how the conversation flows during the "recovery" intervals - we were working hard, getting tired, and at least for myself, getting honest.  I find myself talking about things I don't normally think about, much less talk about.  Funny how everything is so interconnected.  Diet, fitness, health - it's all mental, it's all physical, it's all the same.  I'm turning into a freakin' Zen runner?

Okay, whatevs... I have another run I want to share, and this one has pictures!

There was a big snowstorm coming this weekend, scheduled to start Saturday night, so I planned my long run for Saturday.  (Good thing, too, since the storm was worse than I expected - good god, we got over 8 inches!  Started Saturday night as planned, didn't stop until Monday morning!)  But Saturday.  Saturday was perfect.  I took Coty to the vet for her checkup, then out for a run to work off her anxiety.  It was warmish - in the 40s, no wind, sunny skies.  Cool enough to run comfortably without a ton of gear and layers on!

I wanted to do between 7.5 and 8 miles, so we headed out from the house and then north to the very end of the trail, and then a bit further, until my Garmin beeped 4 miles.  I was so glad I remembered to bring my phone - I took some pics along the way!  Right at the start, Coty had a little run-in with a cat.

"Wait!  Come back!"

I wasn't quite quick enough on the draw with my phone, but it was pretty entertaining! This was during our warm-up walk anyway, not an interruption.  Once that little distraction was past, it was time to start running. My goal for the day was to run by and large the entire route, with a short break every two miles.  Due to various factors, some dog-related stops, ran into a couple of people I knew, etc., it ended up more like a short break every mile.  The only two miles I ran solid were #s 5 and 6, but man, it was a great time, I don't regret that one bit.

Here are some photos I took along the way:

Before - all keyed up!

Coty, before her Running Rehab.

We came across some geese who landed just beside the trail where we were running.  Coty couldn't resist!

The End of the Road (but we went just a bit farther)

 

Looking to the north-east at the turn-around point.

The view south-west from the turn-around point.

Looking back the way we came.

The road ahead, at the turn-around point.

 

Coty, half-way through!

This one is my favorite!

We've done this before.  Back in August, when I failed to blog for a couple of months, I went on this same route twice.  Once to see if I could go 8 miles (it's still the longest long run I've ever done), and again because I didn't have a camera the first time.  But I never did write about it, and I always wanted to.  Now I have.

Have a good week - I intend to.  After two great workouts like these, what could go wrong?

It's Time

Jason reminded me tonight that, while I have been complaining about my slow weight-loss the past 6 months, he has noticed some very tangible and practical differences in my body, my behavior, etc. (No, I'm not about to tell you TMI about our sex life or anything... I'm talking practical stuff!!) Like he no longer lies awake at night - his words here - hearing me snore "like my great grandpa". Now, this made me laugh, but even I have noticed I sleep better these days and feel more rested when I get up in the mornings.

I had a GREAT run Wednesday night with my Ride the Wave group.  We ran 5 miles and the only little break we had was a short (maybe 1 minute or so) walk at the half-way point.  How long did it take, you ask?  Well, I'll happily tell you we finished in exactly one hour.  (Okay, not exactly one hour.  It was 1:00:24.)  Great pace for a relaxed run with the girls.

Jason wasn't feeling very well Thursday, so I skipped my planned gym workout and stayed home to make dinner and pamper him a little.  It's our anniversary this weekend, so I worked a half-day and spent the afternoon doing some housekeeping so we could relax over the weekend in a clean house.  The weather was absolutely beautiful so I took my Little Running Buddy out for a run around 4pm.  We did an easy, relaxed 3 miles or so.  I didn't time it or anything, and I let Coty determine our pace, so we spent a lot of time walking and sniffing things, ran maybe half of the distance... I was just really enjoying being out there without a coat, wearing ONLY ONE SHIRT, and capri running pants!

On the run I got to thinking about:

1. how I'm really not crazy about the phrase "my weight loss journey" - it's so cliche and reminds me of all those "self-help" books that I hate - but there's no other appropriate term.
2. when did all this start?  I mean, I've been working to lose weight since October 2011 - about 18 months ago - but that's just this time around.  Before that, I lost about 30 lbs with WWonline in... I think 2008, and before that, I lost a bunch of weight (can't remember what my starting weight was) in the two years running up to my wedding in 2004.
3. what did I get right in each of those attempts?  What did I get wrong?  why did those attempts ultimately fail, in that I gained all of the weight back (and probably a bit more)?

I think it's time I spent some energy reflecting on these questions and writing about that history.  I suppose I knew when I started blogging that I'd get to this eventually, but I avoided it.  I didn't want to write some sad-sack BS whiny cliche about how "I've struggled with my weight my whole life... it all started when... " Blah-blah-blah.  That is SO not me.  HOWEVER, I am a big believer in understanding where I came from to help direct where I'm going, and I know there are great lessons to learn from the successes I had, and even bigger lessons to learn from why I ultimately failed to achieve a lifetime weight loss that I could maintain.

So over the next few days or so, I'm going to do just that.  I'm hoping I can find some clues in the process to help me break out of the stubborn plateau I've been on for the past 6 months.

Random Thoughts and a Lunch Recap

I started writing this post on Monday, but got pulled away and didn't get back to it until today (Wednesday), so bear with me if I do a little time-shifting as we go along today...

I'm definitely feeling the effects of yesterday's long run today.  I have that Good muscle-soreness that tells me I worked hard yesterday, building strength and endurance train my body to do more the next time I head out.  I honestly have grown to love that feeling.  Makes me happy, knowing I've done good for me. 

I don't have a lot of interesting stuff to report so far this week on the exercise front.  I took a cue from my body and had a lovely 2-mile walk on Monday, basically a recovery day from the long run, and Tuesday I worked in our Out Of Town office, which is a 90-minute commute each way, so it was a long day with no exercise after work.

Food-wise, it's been another erratic week but I'm working to keep myself on track today.  That could have been a disaster today but think it worked out... here's what happened.  After getting up at 5:15am Tuesday, I was inexplicably AWAKE until after midnight, leading to oversleeping a bit this morning and a frenzied attempt to get out the door on time, which lead to packing a "lunch" which consisted only of random raw veggies (carrots & zucchini), about 2 tablespoons of french onion dip to go with them, an orange, and an apple.  Oh and the breakfast I grabbed was only half of a nomal breakfast... a single 130-calorie portion of yogurt!  I knew I'd have to get something more substantial if I was going to make it through the day. 

Lunch time rolled around and I headed out to run some errands.  I decided to stop in at this Super Gyros place around the corner.  I got a regular gyro, no sauce.  Now, I'm sure you've had these before - but I'm not sure what the bread is called... is it a pita?  is it Na'an bread?  Whatever, it's a cross between a pita and a tortilla, a small round of bready stuff, with a relatively large portion of meat - I think it's a combination of lamb and beef made into a sort of sausage - but the meat seems pretty lean.  No fries, no drink, no chips.  [Note to self:  should have taken a picture of it but you ate the damn thing so fast, there is now only an empty paper bag.]

I have no idea what the stats are on this thing, nutrient / calorie-wise, but it was delicious and now that I've had some time to digest it, I don't feel overly full, just satisfied.  I ate some of my raw veggies and about half of the dip with it.  I'm gonna guess it was in the neighborhood of a 600-700 calorie meal.

With all that said, I think I might be okay for my calories for the day, because I have a longish run planned for this evening:  5 mile Tempo Run with the Ride The Wave group.

So there's your mid-week update - happy Wednesday!

Epilogue: More on the Bosu Ball

Since my last post, I've still been thinking a lot about my experience with the Bosu Ball Alternating Side Lunges.  Seems I haven't posted all I have to say on the subject, so I'm starting off today with a little Epilogue, if you will.

I don't know about anyone else, but for me, I try to focus only on myself when I'm at the gym.  I'm always very conscious of the fact that, let's say, "I don't look my best" in gym clothes.  I'm sweaty (if I'm doing it right). I'm wearing clothes that are functional, not flattering.  My hair isn't done.  I may have makeup on if I stop in after work, but once I'm all red in the face and sweating with effort, I'm not sure that's doing me any favors in the looks department.  That's all fine, and as it should be, but it doesn't make that bit of self-consciousness go away.  In my everyday life, I wear things that are flattering to my body, no matter what size I am, and I pretty much go through my days feeling good about how I look, so no scolding me for being down on myself, please... I'm just saying in this situation at the gym, it's a little hurdle I have to get over.  I cope by focusing inward.  I don't spend much, if any, time socializing, and I don't really know many people that use the same gym I do, so this all works out pretty well for my state of mind when working out.

When I went & picked up the Bosu Ball to do my first set of Glute Squeezes, a woman was stretching and doing some core work nearby.  She looked at the ball, asked me about it a little.  I explained I'm just learning to use it, but was really excited to find it was available.  And kept myself from jokingly asking her not to laugh at me while I figured it out.  We talked for a couple of minutes about the different exercises we've seen people doing with the ball, and laughed a bit about the awkward balance between trying to watch someone do something we've never tried, without staring at them like a creepy gym stalker.

Later when I started trying to figure out how to do the Alternating Side Lunges, feeling awkward and uncoordinated on that Bosu Ball, one thing I didn't fully explore in my previous post is the INTENSE feeling of self-consciousness I was battling.  It was almost as if I thought, if I stop what I'm doing right now and look around, I'll see everyone in the gym gaping at me, maybe even pointing and laughing!  I mean, clearly this is irrational and I didn't REALLY think that, but... well maybe a little part of my brain thought it could happen.

So if you're reading this and you've ever had that same feeling when trying something new and feeling uncomfortable, here's what ACTUALLY happened when I looked up:

There was a big muscle-y guy lifting weights on a bench a few feet from me, and when I stopped to catch my breath and glanced around, he caught my eye and said "Man, I couldn't do what you're doing!"

My first thought was Dude, right now, neither can I! But no, Chris, negative self-talk is one thing, it's even worse when you say it out loud.  I stopped myself from saying that, and the first thing that popped out of my mouth in response was, "Yeah, I am WAY outside of my comfort zone right now!"  (I gotta give myself a little pat on the back for turning that negative into a positive.  That was a good one.)

And he said, "That's what it's all about - you gotta get out of that comfort zone to make progress.  Keep it up!"

How about that?  NOT pointing and laughing.  Encouraging.  Yeah, this is where I'm SUPPOSED to be:  OUTSIDE of the comfort zone.  Getting it done.  Maybe I should talk to people more often at the gym.  Maybe there's a little something to the idea of interacting with people in that context.  I gotta say, I like my gym more and more.

One more word on this:  I came across a great quote on the subject in my random Internet browsing tonight:
“You only ever grow as a human being if you’re outside your comfort zone.” -Percy Cerutty

I found it here:  http://runnersfeed.com/top-20-running-quotes/

Getting "Real"

I spent some time today considering what is, in the world of runners, an age-old question:  Who or What is a "Real Runner"?

Where do you draw that line?  Is it based on pace - do you have to run a 7-minute pace to be considered Real?  What about 10-minute miles - is that acceptable?  What if you're only holding a 12-minute pace?  What if you walk and run and average 13:45 - what then?  Sorry, you can't be in The Real Runners Club.

Maybe we should decide based on distance.  Endurance is certainly key to being a Real Runner.  Can you run  one mile without a walk-break?  Two?  Five?  That's a lot easier to do if you run an 8-minute mile versus a 12-minute, so distance might not be the best determining factor.  Duration, then.  How much time does one have to spend running, without walking, before she can be considered Real?  Twenty minutes?  45?  What if you walk some, but only for strict, short duration?  Would walking less than 60 seconds at a time qualify, or should you keep it to 30 seconds or less?  If I'm going to do this thing, I want to Really do it.  The last thing I want is to be a poseur!

Perhaps it's better to compare ourselves to others.  Do I have to place 1st, 2nd, or 3rd in my age group in a race, or must it be an outright win?  In EVERY race, or just once?  One race a year?  What if you run regularly but don't ever race?  Do you just have to speed up & pass everyone you see out on the trail each week?  (Then I'd be winning, right?)  If I hate the treadmill and therefore drop out of my training for three or four months a year when it's cold out, do I lose my standing and have to start over each March after the ice thaws?  People run faster on roads than on trails, how shall we judge them?

If I sound sarcastic and dismissive, it's because I am.  There are runners out there in the Running Community (mainly the blogosphere from what I can tell) who are presumptuous and pretentious enough to say things like "You're not a Real Runner unless you're averaging better than an X-minute pace."  More importantly, I hear people saying, "yes, I run... well, I'm not a Real Runner - [now fill in the blank with your hedge of choice:]  I do a lot of walking/ I'm slow, really I don't like to use the word 'run' I'm really more of a jogger/ I always come in last - but I really enjoy it."  I hear it from people, especially at my running group (particularly in March when the "newbie" group starts up!), and especially from women.  I think women are more susceptible to this... perhaps we are more likely to denigrate ourselves, place others above ourselves on some imaginary pyramid of validity.

I object to the whole line of thought because I dispute the premise.  The premise that there is some definitive line we must cross in order to be Real.  I am offended by my own hesitancy to accept that over the past few years there has developed a new aspect to my personality, my definition of Who I Am or What I'm About:  I am a Runner.  It was new and different and rather difficult to get my head around at first but there it is.  And I made it ever more difficult by having to work around this invisible line of being Real.

I thought that a Real Runner was long and lean and fast and as a woman, of course they weigh about 60 pounds less than I do.  The picture in my mind looked a lot like this:

But Real Runners come in all shapes and sizes.  The folks in my running group are a great example - there are some who are built JUST LIKE the woman in the photo above, but others look a LOT more like I did in this photo.  (In the running for Worst Photo Ever Taken of Me.)

Yup, this is me in 2010.

The group is full of all sorts of body types:  big guys, women with big ole' butts, heavy people working hard to get healthier.  And many of them have run multiple marathons.  Some were athletes in high school and college, exercised their whole lives, always loved running and doing exercise of all kinds.  Others (more like myself) taught themselves to enjoy exercise and being out of doors later in life, or just got started last year with their first Couch to 5K program.  And in my book, they are as Real as it gets.

I think about this a LOT.  I think about it frequently while I'm running, while I'm racing.  When I see someone running who is overweight, over thirty, or who is slower (I place myself solidly in all three of those categories), I wonder - does s(he) question whether s(he) is a Real Runner?  Do they know that I know how hard it is to do what they are doing, and how much respect other runners have for them?  If they are part of the running community here, then they know.  The community here is incredibly supportive and communicative.  If they're not part of that group, I hope they have a family who is giving and supportive and respects the time and effort they're putting in.  I hope their family makes them feel like a Real Runner.

When did i become a Real Runner in my own mind?  I'm not entirely sure, but here's one thing I repeat like a mantra when I'm out on the road (something I saw on a Facebook post and have no idea where it came from, so I apologize:  I can't provide a source)

You are what you repeatedly DO.

I don't know when it happened, but the moment I became a Real Runner is the moment when it stopped being something I was TRYING to do and became simply "something I DO."

But this Christmas .. well, now it's official.  I didn't realize it wasn't quite official until this morning when I opened my presents, and each branch of the family gave me something to support my habit!  A training calendar, a hydration belt, a hook to connect the dog leash to my belt so I can keep my hands free, a reflective vest for night runs.  My family is so incredible and supportive, and it turns out, they think I'm a Real Runner too.

Thank you, everyone, for your support.  And Merry Christmas!

By the way, there are a lot of great posts on this subject.  I've read many over the past few years, which is partly how I've clarified my own views on the topic.  Here are a few I've read recently:
http://random.andrewwarner.com/im-not-a-real-runner/
http://www.active.com/running/Articles/What_makes_someone_a__real__runner_
http://www.sparkpeople.com/mypage_public_journal_individual.asp?blog_id=5067878
http://www.runningalife.com/who-is-a-real-runner/
And this one has some great tips, ostensibly for "beginners" but great to remember even if you're already a Real Runner...http://www.makeit-loveit.com/2012/01/a-runner-im-not-a-real-one-but-i-pretend.html

And a quote on the topic:

“ I often hear people say,’I’m not a real runner.’ we are all runners, some just run faster than others, that’s all. I have never met a fake runner.

— Bart Yasso (@bartyasso), joined Runner’s World in 1987 to develop the groundbreaking Runner’s World Race Sponsorship Program, creating a vehicle for Runner’s World to work with over 7,000 races representing 4 million runners per year. Inducted into the Running USA Hall of Champions. (via http://lifeofacollegeathlete.tumblr.com)

Decisions, decisions... and a nice surprise

I've gotten a few good runs in this week and feeling really good about that.  One great part of getting out there for a longer run is I get a big chunk of time to think (and talk to myself) (and talk to my dog).  My thoughts this week were running (no pun intended) along the lines of, "where am i with this whole dieting / weight loss thing?" and "what's next right now?" and "goal? what goal? better get on that."

I made a couple of decisions along the road.  First, gotta get through December.  Christmas cookies and holiday pies to bake, New Year's celebrations, a week of stress at work to close out the books for the year... recipe for disaster, right?  Better get used to the idea that I'll be up 3 or 4 pounds by the end of the month, right?  That way I won't feel the need to beat myself up about it.  Doesn't have to be that way.  The plan for the rest of the month is to stay right where I am:  maintain current weight for the next three weeks, then kick it into high gear in the first week of January.  Maybe not an aggressive decision, but I think it's a reasonable & attainable goal.

After setting my strategy for this month, I started wondering... what, exactly, has been happening recently.  It occurred to me I haven't been paying terribly close attention.  Mid-August through the end of October is the busiest time at work for me, lots of travelling, lots of late nights, 8pm-pizzas at the office, working till 10 or 11pm in a hotel room, very stressful.  It's a great excuse to eat way too much fast food, McDonald's for breakfast, second helpings at dinner, an extra cookie here & there... well, you get the idea.  With the travelling especially, it's difficult to get any exercise in, and so hard to eat right.

No need to wonder, of course!  I log all weigh-ins, food and exercise on my LoseIt app, and took a look at a chart of my weigh-ins over the past few months.  It turns out, I've pretty much been in Maintenance Mode since early September.  Up and down the same few pounds through all that mess at work, even through our (much-deserved) Mexico vacation and Thanksgiving, but I haven't gained or lost really over all.

[I have this great chart I exported from LoseIt, but I can't find a way to paste it in here...]

Today's weigh-in brought a welcome surprise   down 0.8 lbs... the first "real" loss since September!  Lost a "new" pound, so great news!

I said I've made a couple of decisions... well, that may be a bit of an exaggeration.  I've been thinking more and more about when I'll be ready to take on the challenge of a half-marathon.  I feel like I need to get a couple more 10k's under my belt, but the training runs for a half wouldn't be all that much longer than the training runs I did for my last 10k.  It's starting to feel... well, not "possible" yet, not "do-able", but... "not outrageous".  I'm also thinking hard about participating in a Marathon Relay - 1/4 of a marathon is right up my alley, I just need 3 people to join in the fun and train with.

So that's where I'm at right now... ready for another week of work, and hitting the road for a few more miles this week with my trusty companion.

Sometimes, it's the Little Things

Sometimes it really is all about little things.

I had a great afternoon.  Took a half-day off from work, to head to my wonderful hairdresser's for a cut, color & style (LONG overdue, I might add - I had to cancel my appointment in early May because I was out of town on business and couldn't get back in to see him any sooner!).  Left the salon looking like a rock star.  Went home & relaxed for about a 1/2-hour, then changed clothes and headed out on a run with, you guessed it, my trusty companion.  I wanted to get in my Thursday Night 4.37-mile run, but didn't want to go to the Lake.  It's too hot, and with the new route that's been put in place due to construction on the bridge out there, there's just not enough shade for either Coty or myself.  So we just headed out from the house and hit the Trail.  Coty calmed down quickly in the heat and after about a mile she happily pulled in behind me and even without her leash she stuck pretty much by my side or about 5 feet behind.

By the second water stop, about 2.2 miles, where we would turn around, she was insisting on a break.

She took a drink from the doggie fountain and then plopped down in the shade and wasn't going anywhere.

I sat down with her and we took five.  What the hell, it's hot out here.

So we got going again and headed home.  Now, for the little thing:  about 1/2-mile from home, I'm getting tired - which is really more mental than physical.  [Side note:  There's a point during every run that I have to make sure Coty's back on her leash, because she can get away with murder... I'm too mentally distracted by running and breathing that I can't properly focus on her and make sure she doesn't chase the wrong rabbit or head into the street or roll in the nastiest thing she can get her face on... etc.  This is also the point in any run when, if I think about it, I get really nervous about the possibility of injury.  Everyone knows what a klutz I can be when I'm not paying attention.]

Really, I'm getting to the little thing, I swear.

So about a 1/2-mile from home, I felt something under my shoe - a rock, maybe a twig, I don't know, maybe it was just some uneven concrete on the sidewalk - and I could feel my right leg begin to slide forward.  I had visions of an ugly fall, bloodied knees (AGAIN!) and potential broken bones.  But I shifted my weight, adjusted my stride and the angle my torso was leaning, and recovered with nary a missed step.

I'm telling you now, this would NOT have ended so well a year ago.  In fact, I think I have photos of the last time something like this happened.

 

I wasn't even running that day:  just taking a nice leisurely walk with my hubby and my dog, and less than TWENTY FEET from home, I tripped on a bad bit of sidewalk and completely lost my shit.  I mean, how ridiculous is that???

Okay, I looked it up.  The pics are from July 2010.

So today, I am appreciating my ability to avoid a potential spill: STRONGER legs, FASTER recovery, BETTER core strength.

Mid-Week Recap

I didn't have a terrifically "good" week last week in terms of eating well, but I did get some great runs in so I didn't know quite what to expect for Sunday's weigh-in.  It went surpassingly well - down 3.2 pounds (bit of a correction from a gain the week before), which brings me to a grand total of 20 - TWENTY - pounds lost since I started tracking my food and exercise last October!!  I have been so overwhelmed by the outpouring of support I received after sharing the news on Facebook.  I have enjoyed reviewing the weight-loss graph on my LoseIt! home page.  It reminds me that no matter how slowly, the extra weight has been coming off.

I set a new mini-goal on LoseIt! - goal is for BMI under 30, and only need to drop another 5 pounds to get there.  My "recommended" weight is still 39 pounds away so it's a long road ahead but I'll keep on trucking.  

This week, my new running group started up.  The LRC has a summer running program for women only.  It's designed for runners of any level, training for a 5K distance.  It is appropriately named the HEAT WAVE.  And it was very hot but we had a nice breeze and that time of day there's plenty of shade on the Trail.  I do need to be training for a longer distance, since I have a 5-miler just two weeks away, and a 10K at the end of September to keep in mind, but I like running with a group once day a week, it's a nice change, and since they meet and run on the Trail, I can bring my trusty partner Coty.  The TNAM group is still going, out at the Lake, so this week and next, I have two group runs. 

Coty's ALWAYS ready for a run.

I should probably get back to the gym sometime soon.  It's been more than a week since I got any strength training in... Will definitely report back when I fit that into my schedule!

That's about it for me... this week is flying by and I'd better hit the hay pretty quick here.